Something stuck me today while reading this article on bacterial decision-making. We all need more receptors. Now, that statement doesn’t make a whole lot of sense without the context, so here’s the context:

“As bacteria’s ability to make decisions goes, E. coli is kind of dumb, which makes it easy for researchers to study sensing and information processing — essentially, decision making — in this bacterium,” says Alexandre.

E. coli has only five receptors that direct its decision-making process about movement, while Azospirillum brasilense has 48, making it comparatively much “smarter” in its ability to detect changes in its environments and as a result, to make complex decisions regarding where to move. (via www.ScienceDaily.com)

You see, the article was all about some pioneering research in the understanding of how bacteria make what would best be described as decisions. It’s all based on the input they receive from their receptors. The more receptors, the more information a given bacterium can use to make its decisions.

It’s the most basic form of stimulus-response behavior. But I think we humans can forget what an asset it can be, instead getting all hung up in our fancy-schmancy analysis and reasoning.

If you want to know more about the world, use your receptors. Learn something new that you didn’t know anything about previously. Listen to someone or read something you really don’t agree with. Put your hands in some dirt. Look under the hood of your car. Visit a museum. Take a trip.

Using your receptors will only make you want to use them more. And in a world where everyone’s a specifist and an expert, you’d be amazed how valuable a little bit of general knowledge and experience can be.

Cheers,

jae

Here at the AdFarm KC office this morning, some thoughtful person brought in these cool little recipe cards titled Fine Swine-ing.

Prociutto-Balsamic Deviled Eggs

Each one has a great recipe for some pork-tastic dish for entertaining. I tried looking around online for who might be putting these out, but I came up empty-handed.

The recipes looked so good, however, that in lieu of links, I’ll just post them here for your enjoyment. Happy Hog-idays. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Prosciutto-Balsamic Deviled Eggs
Prep Time: 15 min
Cook Time: 30 min
Ready in: 1 hr

Ingredients
-12 eggs
-1/2 cup mayonnaise
-2 tsp white sugar
-1/2 tsp balsamic vinegar
-1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
-4 slices bacon
-1/4 cup minced red onion
-1/4 tsp celery salt
-1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

Directions
Place the eggs in a large pot in a single layer and fill with water to cover by one inch. Cover the saucepan and bring the water to a boil; immediately remove from heat and let the eggs stand in the hot water for 15 minutes. Drain.

Cool the eggs under cold running water in the sink. Peel and halve lengthwise. Separate the yolks from the whites, placing the yolks in a bowl. Arrange the egg whites with the rounded side down on a serving platter.

Place the bacon in a large, deep skillet and cook over medium-high heat, turning occasionally, until evenly browned – about 10 minutes. Drain on a paper towel-lined plate; chop.

Mash the yolks with a fork. Add the bacon, mayonnaise, onion, sugar, vinegar, celery salt and pepper; stir until thoroughly combined. Spoon the mixture into the egg whites. Garnish with parsley.

Hot Ham and Cheese Dip
Prep Time: 10 min
Cook Time: 2 hr
Ready In: 2 hr 10 min

Ingredients
-1 lb thinly sliced deli ham, sliced into thin strips
-1 (8 oz) package cream cheese, cut into cubes
-1 (10.75 oz) can condensed cream of mushroom soup, undiluted
-1 (10.75 oz) can condensed cream of celery soup, undiluted
-2 cups shredded Swiss cheese
-2 (1 lb) loaves of cocktail rye bread

Directions
In a slow cooker, combine the ham, cream cheese, cream of mushroom soup and cream of celery soup. Stir in the Swiss cheese.

Cover and cook on low until cheese is melted, about two hours, stirring occasionally. Serve on cocktail rye slices.

Brown Sugar Smokies
Prep Time: 10 min
Cook Time: 20 min
Ready In: 30 min

Ingredients
-1 (16 oz) package little smokie sausages
-1 lb bacon
-1 cup brown sugar, or to taste

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Cut bacon into thirds and wrap each strip around a little sausage. Place the wrapped sausages on wooden skewers, several to a skewer.

Arrange the skewers on a baking sheet and sprinkle them liberally with brown sugar. Bake until bacon is crisp and the brown sugar melted.

Prosciutto-wrapped Grissini
Active Time: 50 min
Total Time: 3 hr 15 min

Ingredients
-12 thin slices prosciutto di Parma
-12 grissini

Directions
Wrap a slice of prosciutto around upper portion of each breadstick at an angle, slightly overlapping.

Cook’s Note
Grissini can be wrapped 30 minutes ahead and kept, loosely covered, at room temperature.

Blue Bacon Stuffed Mushrooms
Prep Time: 5 min
Cook Time: 33 min
Ready In: 38 min

Ingredients
-3 strips bacon
-6 large mushrooms
-1 Tbsp butter
-1 clove garlic, sliced
-3 oz cream cheese
-1/2 onion, diced
-1/3 cup bread crumbs
-3 oz blue cheese

Directions
Cook bacon strips in a large skillet over medium heat until crispy; drain on paper towels.

While bacon is cooking, remove stems from mushrooms. Set caps aside and chop stems. Add butter to skillet with bacon grease. When melted, stir in mushroom stems, onion and garlic. Cook, stirring frequently until the onions caramelize – about 15 to 20 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 C). Spray a small baking dish with cooking spray. Once the onion mixture has reached a deep, rich brown color, place into a blender along with bacon, cream cheese, blue cheese and bread crumbs. Blend on low until ingredients are roughly chopped and evenly combined.

Stuff cheese mixture into mushroom caps and place into prepared baking dish. Bake in preheated oven until bubbly and lightly browned – about 10 to 15 minutes.

Sausage Stuffed Jalapenos
Prep Time: 25 min
Cook Time: 20 min
Ready In: 45 min

Ingredients
-1 lb ground pork sausage
-1 (8 oz) package cream cheese, softened
-1/2 cup shredded Parmesan cheese (Editor’s note: Use Parmigiano Reggiano or other fresh Parmesan, not that clylinder, you savage)
-1/2 cup shredded cheddar and mozzarella cheese
-1 lb large fresh jalapeno peppers, halved lengthwise and seeded
-1 (8 oz) bottle Ranch dressing

Directions
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 C). Place sausage in a skillet over medium heat and cook until evenly browned. Drain.

In a bowl, mix the sausage, cream cheese and Parmesan cheese. Spoon about one Tbsp sausage mixture into each jalapeno half. Arrange stuffed halves in baking dishes. Bake 20 min in the preheated oven until bubbly and lightly browned. Serve with Ranch dressing.

Ham and Cheese Puffs
Prep Time: 15 min
Cook Time: 15 min
Ready In: 30 min

Ingredients
-2 1/2 oz sliced ham, chopped
-1 small onion, chopped
-1/2 cup shredded Swiss cheese
-1 egg
-1 1/2 tsp Dijon mustard
-1/8 tsp pepper
-1 (8 oz) package refrigerated crescent rolls

Directions
In a large bowl, combine the first six ingredients; set aside.

Divide crescent dough into 24 portions. Press into greased miniature muffin cups.

Spoon 1 Tbsp ham mixture into each cup. Bake at 350 degrees F for 13-15 minutes or until golden brown.

Sweet and Sour Ham Balls
Prep Time: 20 min
Cook Time: 45 min
Ready In: 1 hr 5 min

Ingredients
-4 eggs, lightly beaten
-1/4 cup chopped onion
-1 1/2 cups soft bread crumbs
-2 lb ground ham or pork
-2 (8 oz) cans crushed pineapple, undrained
-1 cup packed brown sugar
-1/4 cup prepared mustard
-2 Tbsp cider vinegar

Directions
In a bowl, combine the eggs, onion and bread crumbs. Crumble meat over mixture and mix well. Shape into 1-1/2 in balls. Place in two greased 13x9x2 in baking dishes.

In a blender, combine the pineapple, brown sugar, mustard and vinegar; cover and process until smooth. Pour over ham balls. Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees F for 45-50 minutes or until a meat thermometer reads 160 degrees F; basting occasionally with sauce.

This week, Jon stumbled on this cringe-inducing but funny video for Red House Furniture of High Point, NC. The store’s about half an hour from where I grew up in Greensboro.

Today, I come across this Boing-Boing post about Rufus Hussey, a slingshot master from North Carolina.

When I was about 12, my mom came home from the grocery store with two dogwood slingshots – one for my younger brother and one for me. She told us about the guy selling them in the Food Lion parking lot – how he shot three quarters out of the air without breaking a sweat. I never met the man, but my mom called me when he died a few years back.

I shot a hole in the siding above our across-the-street neighbor’s front door with that slingshot. I ruined the screen on our porch shooting BBs. I killed a squirrel. I almost knocked myself out with a ricochet. I destroyed the cardboard box after our new refrigerator was delivered. Thinking about Rufus Hussey, I have tides of childhood pulsing through my brain.

As if heading out to meet my new niece, Addie, in a few weeks wasn’t enough to make me wistful for home. I really should get back more often.

Cheers,

jae

The best days are the ones where we come up with an idea that makes people scratch their heads and ask, “How the hell are we going to do this?” or, “Aren’t there any case studies that we can show?”

This job is about novel communications. When we do something that doesn’t have directions already written, that’s when I know we’ve done it well.

I’m off to be a case study – or a cautionary tale.

Cheers,

jae

When I opened my eyes this morning, I realized I was already working on a project. The weird part is I’ve already done everything (and more) I need to before Tuesday. I just can’t turn it off.

Our agency is at our best when we start at the start, when we create a strategy based on solid market knowledge and understanding of the audience. When we get that entrenched in the material, it’s tough to shut it off, even for a long weekend.

That’s a sign of a healthy agency/client relationship. But for the sake of a healthy mind and body, I’m going to work it out of my system with a 20 mile backpacking trip. Work will still be here when I get back, and I can bring that new experience, and the accompanying endorphins, to bear on what’s waiting for me next week.

Cheers,

jae

The average Fourth of July celebration usually includes a few key ingredients – grilling, cold beer, good friends and a helping of colorful explosions.

But a truly great celebration, like a truly great dry rub, is all about those lesser known ingredients. In the case of our Fun Fourth, we’re talking slow-smoked pork shoulder, a roll of four thousand firecrackers, an air rifle and few very serious law enforcement officers, among other things.

I should say, I really wanted to do this post as a play-by-play on the Fourth, but I was way, way too dirty to even think about touching my phone. Honestly, I looked like I slept in garbage.

Here’s how the weekend went down:

July 3:
We arrived at Robbie and Jenny’s place in Union, MO around 2:00 on Friday. After eating everything we could lay our hands on (we didn’t stop the entire way), it was time to head out for supplies. I stuck around the house to keep an eye on Max (Robbie and Jenny’s five year old) and watch Real Genius, Val Kilmer’s second film after Top Secret. I’ll watch anything that delivers retribution by way of popcorn.

Brooke, Jenny and Kendra came back with food and drink. Robbie came back with a sweet-ass Daisy 8800 high-velocity air rifle. We immediately retired to the back porch to shoot cans and bottles. After about two hours of decent marksmanship I hear:

Police officer leaning over the roof of his car, his handgun trained on Robbie: Drop the fucking gun, man!
Robbie, both hands up: Whoa, it’s just a BB gun!
Police officer, not budging: I don’t fucking care. Drop. The. Gun. Now!

After letting the officer inspect the weapon and being asked a lot of questions about our (lack of) criminal histories, the officer informed us, it’s not okay to fire any kind of gun within the city limits, especially when it looks like a .22 rifle to passers by. Lesson learned. I also learned I can deal with a loaded gun pointed at me without peeing my pants. This skill will absolutely come in handy again.

The rest of the evening was less eventful. Max decided to impersonate a very unfortunate pirate.

Captain Max, world's unluckiest pirate

July 4:
“Jacob, it’s 8:30. Gotta go start the smoker.”

Zombied my way downstairs to start the smoker. Here are the ingredients for a good day:

One tried and true smoker

One awesome nine pound pork butt

Quality all hardwood lump charcoal

Also, you’re going to need about nine to twelve hours, a few pounds of hickory chunks, a steel will and enough cold beer to see you through the day.

After about six hours, your conquest is going to look like this:

Oh, you smoky temptress!

Do not give in! You’ve got to wait for perfection.

When a pork shoulder is ready, the bone will slip out effortlessly and it’ll be completely clean. It’s going to take how long it takes, and that’s usually about an hour to an hour and a half per pound. For at least six hours, you’re going to want to keep that heat right at 225 degrees and consistently add hickory chunks to the smoker. The first six or seven hours are when you’re going to get the most smoke penetration. After that, wrap that bad boy in aluminum foil and take the temperature to 350 for the remainder. Sneaky secret – you can actually do this portion in the oven if you’re sick of babysitting the smoker. As far as I’ve experienced, it doesn’t have an appreciable effect on the end product.

Well, that’s how it’s done. I wish I’d taken a picture of the end product, but we got on it pretty quickly. Looked something like this:

Cheers,

jae

Lest one forget the lager concerns of the larger world, Mams Taylor, LA Producer and Iranian ex-pat, brought together a collective of other performers, poets and thinkers to produce this song and music video for the people fighting and laying down lives in support of a more representative democracy in Iran.

United For Neda by Mams Taylor Ft. Dariush, Satar, Morteza, & Friends from Mams Taylor on Vimeo.

Please share this, in hopes that folks in Iran get a chance to see they’re still very much in the hearts and on the minds of people around the world who believe every human deserves a voice.

Here’s the direct Vimeo link: “United For Neda”
Here’s a link to the mp3 version, as well: “United For Neda” mp3

As one would expect, we have a good time around here. Case in point: at about 12:30 yesterday, I realized the right side of my desk was about an inch and a half higher than the left side.

Jason Yates and Jason Silvers did it while I was in St. Louis last week. Since Monday, I’d been compensating for the tilt with my body position. I got suspicious because I was making way, way more typing errors than usual. A slight offset between left and right hands makes a big difference, apparently.

The tilted desk, while clever, is not the most devious prank I’ve had pulled on me recently.

Read on:

About a month ago, my green Klean Kanteen water bottle went missing after a morning presentation. I have a tendency to leave it sitting somewhere and forget about it, so this wasn’t an uncommon occurrence.

Then this note showed up with the temp receptionist. She said a white-haired man had dropped it off without leaving a name:

The Ransom Note

There were three variables in the office on June 1. Two were clients. One was Aaron Perlut, Managing Partner of Elasticity, founding member of the American Mustache Institute and a prominent, outspoken bacon enthusiast. If you’ve never met Aaron, this video of his defense of Jason Giambi’s mustache on ESPN’s First Take will give you a decent idea why I immediately suspected him of hijinks:

Over the next week the ransom notes escalated. I sent Aaron harassing e-mails and got confused and confusing responses. I knew he was the culprit. The fax header had the St. Louis financial services fax number on it, and he sits near there. Plus, there was the suspicious detail of him giving me an awesome miniature cassette case/Vanilla Ice bubble gum package on his way out the door on June 1 – only moments before I received the ransom note.

The Vanilla Ice bubble gum, Exhibit B

Two weeks ago, I find my beloved water bottle hidden underneath one of the oversized noise-making Hulk hands in Shanna’s office. After finding it, I hid it in one of my desk drawers and drank out of a glass like a commoner. One water bottle in the drawer not being used is better than one water bottle in the hands of a ransom artist not being used, after all.

Today, one month and one day after the initial ransom note, I walk into my office to find this confession:

The confession. We did it.

It was added to my Wall of Stuff:

My Wall of Stuff

It turns out, Jason Yates, one of our art directors in Kansas City – to whom I ranted and raved for an entire month about what possible motive someone could have for ransoming my water bottle, with whom I puzzled over the possible meanings of the number 14.63 in the initial note, to whom I revealed that I’d had my wife helping me in the evenings trying to figure out if anyone was selling my water bottle online for $14.63 or if the number held any special significance as a date or as a geometric ratio – was responsible for the theft all along. I’d left my water bottle sitting on his desk one too many times, and he took me for a monthlong ride using his Keyser Soze-like diversionary tactics.

Mr. Yates, thank you for robbing me of the enjoyment of a month of evenings I instead spent worrying about the motives of the culprit and the possible significance of the numbers 1-4-6-3. You’ve pranked me worse than anyone before – including the still unknown hooligans who covered my windshield in Vasoline back in high school.

Aaron, I’m sorry for the accusatory e-mails, and I’m sorry Yates didn’t fill you in on the scheme. I’m sure you would have happily contributed to my undoing.

St. Louis financial department personnel, I’m sorry for my angry faxes. You just got caught in the crossfire.

The sad part is, the only things at stake were a water bottle and the most arbitrary sum of money imaginable. Nevertheless, it kept me up at night. I guess that’s what makes it such a good prank.

Cheers,

jae

Artist Wilhelm Staehle creates these amazing hand-cut silhouettes juxtaposing Victorian imagery with modern themes. They’re incredibly clever, and my wife just bought me one titled “Victorian Delorian,” just because she’s awesome.

You can see the entire “Silhouette Masterpiece Theater” series here.

I think this new work will nicely complement the Mounted Cardboard Deer Trophies we’re placing above our fireplace and offset our bedroom decorated with work from my good friend and master large-format photographer, Heyward Hart, and the “Dream Wall” above the bed full of some of my favorite works by the ever-wonderful Gonzo artist, Ralph Steadman.

Art enriches the soul, and these are some of the things bringing joy to my life at the moment.

Cheers,

jae